Let’s be real for a second: making friends as a kid was way easier. You just sat next to someone in class, traded stickers or snacks, and boom you had a new bestie. But as adults? Suddenly everyone is busy, moving at different paces in life, and you can’t exactly walk up to someone at the grocery store and say, “Want to hang out?” (Well, you could, but it might be weird).

The good news is that adult friendships are absolutely possible. In fact, they can be deeper and more intentional than the friendships you had growing up. It just takes a little more effort. So, let’s get into some real, doable ways to build genuine connections as an adult.

1. Say Yes More Often

One of the biggest blockers to making friends is simply not showing up. Think about it: how many times have you said no to an invite because you were “too tired” or felt a little awkward about not knowing many people? While protecting your energy is important, sometimes you’ve got to say yes even when it feels easier to stay in. Go to that coworker’s birthday dinner, the book club meeting, or the yoga class. The more you put yourself in social situations, the more chances you have to meet new people.

2. Lean Into Your Hobbies

Making friends is so much easier when you already have something in common. If you love cooking, join a cooking class. If you’re into running, find a local group or a weekend running club. Hobbies create natural bonding points and you already know you share an interest, so conversations flow more easily. Plus, consistency helps: seeing the same people weekly at pottery class or a hiking group builds comfort over time. Friendships thrive on shared experiences.

3. Reconnect With Old Acquaintances

You don’t always need to start from scratch. Sometimes, the easiest way to make friends as an adult is by reconnecting with people you already know but maybe lost touch with. Reach out to an old classmate, a former coworker, or someone you used to chat with at the gym. A simple “Hey, it’s been a while! Want to catch up over coffee?” can surprisingly open the door to a rekindled friendship. People usually appreciate when someone makes the effort.

4. Be Willing to Make the First Move

Here’s the truth: most people are just as nervous about making friends as you are. That means they’re probably waiting for someone else to make the first move. Don’t be afraid to invite someone out for coffee, ask if they want to check out a new café, or suggest working out together. Think of it as dating energy, but for friendships. Yes, it feels vulnerable, but more often than not, the other person will be glad you asked.

5. Nurture the Friendship Like a Plant

Meeting people is step one but keeping the connection alive is where the real work comes in. Friendships need intentional care. That means following up after you meet someone, making plans, and checking in from time to time. Send that “thinking of you” text, share a funny meme, or invite them to run errands together. Small touches add up and show that you value the relationship. It doesn’t have to be high-maintenance it just has to be consistent.

6. Embrace Different Types of Friendships

Not every friend has to be your “soulmate friend” who knows all your secrets. As an adult, you can have different friends for different parts of your life a workout buddy, a coworker you grab lunch with, a friend who’s always down to go thrifting. Embracing these different levels of friendship takes the pressure off and makes it easier to enjoy people for who they are, without forcing every connection to be “the one.”

7. Be Authentic (Seriously)

It might sound cliché, but it’s true: people connect to authenticity. If you’re trying too hard to impress or pretending to like things you don’t, the friendship will feel shallow. Instead, show up as you are. Talk about your real interests, your quirks, even your struggles. Vulnerability often creates deeper bonds, and it invites the other person to do the same. Real friendships grow when you’re both being yourselves.

Conclusion

Making friends as an adult isn’t effortless, but it’s not impossible either. It takes showing up, putting yourself out there, and being intentional about nurturing connections. And honestly? That extra effort makes adult friendships incredibly rewarding, because both people choose to be there.

So the next time you’re debating whether to go to that event, send that message, or ask someone to grab coffee just do it. The worst that happens? You have a pleasant conversation. The best? You gain a new friend who makes adulthood a whole lot less lonely.